The Honeymoon Is Over

Today I had to spend some time making amends.

I am not sure why, but I really thought I could spend the next two years trying to live in perfect harmony and not making any missteps.

My first problem started with my sister (see Sisterhood). That eventually mended itself with time. She even bought me a cool bracelet for Christmas and went with me to find the doctor today. Things have appeared to reach a neutral ground. I love my sister, but I know her ways and am reminded often that she is still a child and not my equal necessarily.

While family matters pass with more ease, it is no big surprise that my other problems involve men.

A month ago in passing I told the owner of the boutique next to my house I would teach him how to use his computer. I offered to come that evening, but he was busy. I told him to let me know when would be good. I figured he’d forget or tell me in advance. The second thought just goes to show I still think like an American and not a Beninese person.

A week past and one day my little sister came by and said he asked if I could come help. It was almost 8:30 or 9 o’clock. I of course said I was busy, which I probably was, but also it was late, and I wasn’t going to drop everything right then and there. Two days later my other sister, came and asked if I could go help him. Again, no warning, and again I said no.

Christmas Eve, I had to buy credit in an emergency, because my friend’s taxi had broke down on the way to my village. In my panic, the man asked me why I hadn’t come to help him and said he was made at me. I was too stressed about my friends to get really angry, but I wasn’t so stressed out that I wasn’t super annoyed. My annoyance was topped off when he ask I come over on Christmas when there is electricity all day. I did not.

Last night I had a terrible stomach ache. I swear there was a demon in my belly, as only that much pain could be inflicted by a demon. In my agony, my sister calls me, and asks me to come over. I assumed she meant next door, which I thought was odd, as she could have easily just walked over. But no, later she called again, to explain to come to the boutique. On further questioning I realized once again I was being asked to help with the computer. Annoyed I said I was sick, and again I was reminded he was mad at me.

The problem is that the electricity is not always on, and it normally comes on after it gets dark, and I don’t want to be seen in a man’s boutique behind his counter working with him. People wouldn’t talk, but they would assume. Plus, I was slightly angry with him for harboring my sister a few weeks ago (again see Sisterhood).

I felt resolved to just never go to his boutique anymore, but he has good Sangria, and it is convenient to buy phone credit there. I then thought I could explain why I hadn’t come and helped him, and that I thought he had been quite rude and impatient. Neither of these solutions was realistic. No need to alienate someone for two years in my small village, where everyone knows everyone. So today after school I agreed that every Sunday for an hour I would come help him. He seemed happy by this, and I also know sometimes on Sunday we have electricity all day. The hour gives me time to do things before it gets dark.

The second injustice I have bestowed upon someone was not going to a dinner meeting. Once again the darkness causes problems for me. I assumed we would eat dinner early, and when my post-mate told me it be later it made me nervous. It is a hard job trying to keep up a saintly hood here. I planned on going, despite my fatigue and battling and ongoing sickness caused by the dry air and massive amounts of dust that exist here. Upon arrival at home though, I forgot I had promised to help my Maman print something at work, and she was leaving the next day. My Maman feeds me everyday, and it was for work, so of course I helped her.

Today I saw the professor (he is who I cancelled on). The Beninese have a way of being angry, without actually being angry. If you say hello to them, of course they say hello back, but they will try to sneak away without saluer-ing, which is only there favorite national pastime. This is what the professor did to me. I figured I’d let it lie, because I know he is moving soon. Of course a slave to not wanting people to dislike me I changed my mind. I explained to him I did not like going out at night, and I had also been sick—both true. He understood, and I told him I’d still like to come over, and we agreed on a lunch date on Friday. He seemed happy by this, and after I told him my birthday was on Thursday, he said it be a mini-birthday fete (party).