Marriage Proposals

It is an understatement to say I receive one to two advances from Beninese men each week. On some weeks this is incredibly infuriating, but for the most part it’s been interesting to develop different strategies to put these men off.

Strategy #1:
Me: I am married.
Beninese Man: Where is your husband?”
Me: He is in the United States.
Beninese Man: Do you want a Beninese husband?
FAILED

Strategy #2:
Me: I am married.
Beninese Man: Where is your husband?
Me: Oh, back in village.
Beninese Man: Do you have children?
Me: No.
Beninese Man: Do you want a Beninese husband?
FAILED

Strategy #3:
Beninese Man: So you are my wife, right?
Me: No.
Beninese Man: Yes, you are my wife.
Me: Well, I don’t sweep.
Beninese Man: That’s fine.
Me: I don’t want children.
Beninese Man: (thinking)
Me: I don’t cook either.
Beninese Man: (thinking)
Me: I also already have two husbands.
Beninese Man: That’s no good.
SUCCESS

Strategy #4:
Beninese Man: So you are going to take me to America with you?
Me: No.
Beninese Man: I will cook and clean.
Me: No.
Beninese Man: Why not? I want a white wife.
Me: Well, I am no good, but I will look for another white woman for you.
Beninese Man: OK
SUCCESS

Strategy #5:
Beninese Man: So, you are here?
Me: Yes.
Beninese Man: With whom?
Me: My friend.
Beninese Man: Do you have a husband?
Me: Yes.
Beninese Man: (leaves, only to return when he realizes “my friend” is not my husband) Does she have a husband?
Friend: Yes.
Beninese Man: Where is he?
Me: He is at home.
Beninese Man: Can I come visit you there?
Me: No.
Beninese Man: Why not?
Me: Because my husband is very jealous and he will hit you.
Beninese Man: Really? No, that’s not true.
Me: Yes. (I point to my broken hand) See my hand, he hit me and that’s why it’s broken.
Beninese Man: (laughing) No that’s not true.
Me: It is.
Beninese Man: Did you refuse to do something?
Me: Yes, I refused to cook.
Beninese Man: OK, well then he had reason.
SUCCESS

Strategy #6:
Me: (I pretend not to understand French)
Beninese Man: (After a minute or two gives up)
SUCCESS

Strategy #7:
Beninese Man: (approaches)
Me: Turn my head and just continue to look the other way incredibly pissed off until he leaves.
SUCCESS